Monday, July 13, 2009

Wii Fit - or humiliation by cartoon

My daughter bought a Wii Fit. I thought it sounded like fun and decided to give it a try. When you start using the machine, it lets you design a little cartoon person to represent you as you exercise. I had such a good time choosing her clothes, hair, glasses, face shape. It was like paper dolls when I was little. I was feeling really good and she was a cute little woman wearing leg warmers and a blue dress. How fun is this?

Then the little woman asked my age and height. I am not ashamed of either, so I was happy to tell her and she was so cheerful. Then she said she would weigh me....uh oh. Still - I am a brave person and waited for the results. This would be a good time to mention that I already know I am overweight and was feeling self-righteous about exercising to correct the problem. Anyway - cute little Mii announced my weight and said, "You are obese." Then the beautiful little cartoon woman inflated to a pot bellied, chubby cartoon woman. What the heck is that?! I cannot believe that I was insulted by a cartoon! Even more unbelievable is that I didn't shut the thing off. I let it keep going.

Next is the part where the machine (no longer a cute little woman in my mind) tests your balance in order to determine your "fitness" age. I stood as still as I could and the machine said, "Oh - your fitness age is 5 years older than your actual age." I believe at that point I also became 5 inches shorter than my actual height! I thought being called fat was bad. Now I have been called fat and old by a snotty little cartoon girl on a TV screen! I think I'll just see what comes next.

Really - too dumb to quit. After the initial insult period the snotty little thing asks you to set goals and offers trite little "tips" on weight loss. Fun. At long last we got to the exercises and they were fun. Just when I was really enjoying playing the games, snotty little machine says I have been exercising for 30 minutes and had better take a break. For crying out loud! Hopefully, even thin, young people have to take a break at 30 minutes.

All in all - ignore the mean machine and the games are fun. Unfortunately, the next time I signed on the snotty girl told me it had been two weeks since my last session and implied that I would be fat forever at this rate. What does she know? (Well - she knows my actual weight, so I guess I'd better be nice to her.) She did offer me a sort of booby prize by telling me my fitness age is now 10 years younger than I am. I am totally baffled, but if I try this a few more times, maybe I can figure out how to cheat and it will tell me my fitness age is 21. Hey - maybe I can only put one foot on the scale and the Mii will go back to her orginal cute size. Maybe I should just stop obsessing about a machine.

1 comment:

  1. Too funny! Almost makes me want to buy this. But I would be super obese and 20 years older than my actual age. I think I will stick with my Physical Therapy exercises.